Bar Talk
by vivaciousRingo
Summary: Nakamaship fic. Lots of alcohol, complicated human relationships, one headache and a pair of skilled hands. Written for A Cup for Zoro – EVENT. Implied Luffy x Nami and Zoro x Sanji, because I can't help myself. Disclaimer. Oda's. Reviews are love!


Written for Lolly Dream's challenge: A Cup for Zoro – EVENT. Meaning - Zoro had to drink out of a sippy cup.

Rules in short:

1) You're not allowed to 'physically' change his age.

2) It really has to be Zoro drinking out of a sippy cup!

3) Only able to use the One Piece world. NO AUs (alternate universes)!

_Dedication: For __**Tys1990**__ because he was there ready to help, made me speechless few times and brain-stormed those fantastic ideas making me laugh till my sides hurt! Aww, I miss you! -hugs-_

_**-xx-xx-**_

_Edited: __I can't express enough my joy over the help I received from __**karios_kaeris**__ (LJ) in beta-reading this one-shot! I feel like it was __**fate**__ and a gift from heaven to meet you! I feel so much more complete thanks to your guidance! Thank you so, so very much… _

_**-xx-xx-**_

_**Bar Talk.**_

_**~0~**_

Nami wasn't the kind who let someone walk over her or even win an argument. She wasn't one of the most intelligent people from East Blue for no reason and she knew that. Sailing on this vast ocean and also having an humongous debt to pay meant she needed to really get to know every square mile of it so she would easily loose any …_dissatisfied_ clients she had made business with in the past. Some were really annoyingly persistent, but she wouldn't call herself one of the best navigators and map-makers if she let them catch up to her. Annoying bastards.

So many things had changed since then. Now she had something else worthy to worry her pretty and valuable head over, like troublesome shipmates who got into trouble in every single island they visited resulting in the need to get the fuck away from it, Coup the Burst or normal way and with marine battleships on their tail.

She had come to appreciate the entertainment and lack of boredom her captain provided after some time. Of course she had tried to teach her crew some restraint along the way, but every single time all her motherly preaching accompanied by veins popping all over her forehead were, unfortunately, in vain. Oh, they listened to her. At least they tried and behaved …for a while, but something always happened that fucked it all up.

That's why she got used to it. An the slight twitch of her left brow was the only _'Didn't I say so?'_ she allowed herself to show at such occasions.

Now was one of such moments.

"The beer will taste bad if you keep making such a face." – The voice to her left interrupted her quiet musings. She looked at the face of her companion and scoffed while taking another gulp of her drink.

"Hmph, I'm not the one who looks like is about to combust from anger here. Get a hold of yourself and your demon-aura or we will be _asked _to leave once again." - She said it off handedly while still distracted with something else just to make a point, though the idea to run full speed on her high-heels to escape the pursuit for the …_third day straight_ didn't sit well with her, mind you.

"'m not angry." - She heard the words being muttered defiantly. She looked up to the one who said them and started to dig some more, grateful to finally have some distraction.

"Yeah," - came the sarcastic reply from her lips. - "and would you be so kind and explain to me why all of the tables around us are _empty_, Zoro?"

"_Just great... should've stayed silent"_ - Groaned inwardly Zoro, but he wasn't one to admit anything without making it hard for the one who questioned, so he chose to play dumb, - "No idea." - And busied himself with chugging another bottle of hard liquor straight from the bottle.

Nami smirked at that.

He was so easy to see through at times, but she liked to pull on his strings expertly and make the other spill the beans for her entertainment, so she began innocently…

- "I wonder what would Sanji-kun say at the display of such poor table manners?"

Zoro nearly jumped out of his skin at her _almost _cooing voice, though he managed to compose himself just as quickly. He had to give the witch some credit for saying something in a sweet voice and at the same time giving the impression of poisonous liquefied honey turned into words. He assured himself he wouldn't be the one to take the bait, and said or more like grinded out through his clenched teeth: "I don't care where the shit-cook is..._I mean, damnit…_ what he thinks.. and all…_shit_." - As soon as those words left his lips he shut his mouth almost biting on his tongue. Fuck, she got him. In his frustration he was stupid to let his anger sweep into his thoughts and for wording it like that too, now it was near impossible that she would leave him alone, the bitch.

"Oh?" - She begun full of fake innocence and Zoro could swear she was laughing heartily on the inside. He could see it in her eyes, evil witch. - "Now that you mention it, I haven't seen Sanji-kun for a good half an hour. I wonder where he went?" - she baited some more, not flaunting her small victory and going for a full out conquer.

"He can go wherever he wants. Why the hell should I care? If you want to find him then go and do so by yourself, he was somewhere on the second floor until we got separated. Probably gone to search for some sweet and innocent cunt he can bang."

Now that explained the more than unusual displeased look he had on his face since they arrived here. She understood it fully along with the untold bits and underlying tones she was sure the swordsman had used unconsciously in anger, failing to notice how much he had given away. But she was far from laughing or pointing them out. - "_Nakama forever"-_ And although poking where others hurt the most was what family did she felt too distracted and edgy today, so she decided to play it differently. She would add it to his debt later.

"He said he needed to buy more wine and other alcohol. The stocking we did earlier in the town wasn't enough, and there's someone in the crew who's got such an unquenchable thirst, that he _really_ needs to restock if we don't want to have a grumpy and in foul-mooded piece of marimo on board and no port in sight for days to change that." - She deadpanned.

It was true. Well, _mostly_. They couldn't properly restock in the last days thanks to the attention they got from the islanders and marines who were as alert as them. The Mugiwara's crew was all the time on front pages lately, it really was a sight to behold. And people, though brainwashed by government lies and fed by the articles in newspapers, weren't stupid and they could feel the freedom this small crew brought with them, reason why they were welcomed like heroes in most ports.

It was unbelievable. Even she caught herself looking slightly astonished sometimes, because they _were_ pirates now and nothing would change the fact that they were infamous, though it felt good when people didn't run away at the first sight of their skull and straw-hat painted on the sail. It assured her somewhat that she had made a good choice or that Luffy was a very good black horse to put her bets on.

And she was never wrong when there was money at stake, as a matter of fact.

She heard a heavy sigh to her left and the cling of a bottle being put on the table. She needn't look at the face of her companion to know that the frown there had smoothed out and a deep sigh indicated how he regretted his earlier thoughtless words. Just to a certain point, of course, because Roronoa hardly ever did anything that would make him regret his decision. She rolled her eyes.

It seemed there existed only few things that made him and his resolve waver. Most things, though thankfully not all of them, revolved around one kickass (literally) and smoking- like-a-chimney hot blond.

She smirked tiredly. Since when had she been employed to play the role of a marriage counselor? Oh, she'll add it to their debt later all right. Or make it even when she gave them their wedding gift. Hmph, enough of that. Now she needed to work her magic and mold the sad mossy here into a little more brightened up patch of sea-vegetable so she could make another order.

Damn Sanji and his… _endearments_ that managed to rub off on her. She was even starting to think up new ones! Look what the company of brutish men did to her innocent girly mind. She huffed irritated. Ok, scratch innocent. But still she was a woman, even though she was quite… boyish and… shameless… Aww! their debts were going to be fucking _tripled_ when they finally got out of this Island, knowing how she generously counted the interest.

"He also said you're going to pay double for that and I already cut it from your spending money on the next island." - She added like a good counselor would. To her no-surprise Zoro got over his guilt (no matter how small) for doubting his lover (secret or not) surprisingly quickly.

To her eyes it was plain visible since the competition in Little Garden. The 'I'll show you mine is bigger' speech assured her of the new couple being established on their former ship, the Going Merry.

She wanted to shout 'get a room boys!' and be done with their argument of whose is bigger or whatever, but the oh-so-always-perceptive princess Vivi hushed her giving her a mischievous wink. Surprising, but it just proved that the greatness of woman intuition won 2:0 vs. men's 'pretention' of one-upping each other.

They were still oblivious to the attraction at the time, but somewhere along the Grand Line even those thick-headed bulls decided to follow their instinct and (probably while fighting) started to use tongue-down-other's-throat as a new technique to make his rival weak. That's how the relationship had started.

"_Huff" _- She rubbed her right temple. She needed to stop thinking so much and calculating every single detail or even liters of alcohol weren't going to be enough to dull her in-coming headache.

She focused on the swordsman to her left who was now his usual annoying and grumpy self without this air of self-pity and guilt she had witnessed a few moments ago. - "_Thank fuck for that"_

"Waiter more beer!" - She screeched next, emphasizing it with the clank of one of her numerous empty mugs that were placed on the table before her. Solving the Zoro-riddle made her thirsty. At least he was finally approachable and wasn't throwing death-threats with his eyes like before. That made them so alienated from other _normal _people…to her growing annoyance, of course, because she couldn't reach with her nimble fingers to their fat-ass pockets anymore.

The second thing she was distracted with was how many rich people lived or partied on this island. This time they had acquired the entry to the most sought out club on the whole Archipelago with the brilliant help of her as- awesome-as-ever Nee-san. They were told it was a complex of many small islands only half a day away from each other, which were mostly turned into a gambling joints, bars, hotels, etc.

Too fucking bad they were chased out of the gambling one. Luffy and Brooke still had massive bumps on their heads for spoiling her money-maki…erm, fun. She guessed the news about having a skeleton as a crew member got around the world pretty fast, not to mention the hyper-active rubber-ball that was masking under the guise of being their captain. He just loved to see himself on those large plasmas in the main hall doing what he knew the best: catch the attention of all the people there while dangling from the roof like the monkey he was in reality and not just in surname. The drop that filled the vase was when he shouted happily the names of his crew members. He explained later to Nami on his knees (bloodied from her rightful fist) that he just wanted to say 'hi' from high up there.

She thought about starting a rightful mutiny for a moment, but when the whole marine armada was whipped out by the captain - because one of the soldiers had made Luffy's last piece of meat (he'd been saving till now) drop on the ground - she decided compromisingly that she would stick with him until her next breaking point. At least that's how she brainwashed herself every single time.

She groaned internally and took her head in her hands while placing her elbows on the table. Fuck, she was so far gone that she couldn't or feared to think about it while sober and still very much clear-headed. But though it scared her shit-less she knew it was 'till death do us part'. No promises, but somewhere deep down inside of her she knew she was taking a huge risk joining Luffy. His smiling and honest face, but still scary when serious had assured her countless times of what she was going to find up ahead, but it was not in her character to back down from the challenges life threw at her and neither was anyone on the crew. That's why she was going to lock those distracting feelings inside of her heart that were reaching and seeking for something…different than the loyalty and friendship she felt for her captain.

She would just let the outcome be decided by the path she had chosen to take.

It wasn't cowardice, it was wisdom and knowledge of how feeble human relationships and feelings were when there was a strain put on them. She could still hold her ground and push the worry to the far back of her mind. She could still pretend it was only a nakama-like bone-crushing fear about her crewmates…or one particular black-haired one to be more specific. She didn't want to be as deep in it as Zoro was. It spelled weakness. Yes, that was her reasoning and she held on it as strongly as a drowning man would clutch a straw.

"What's wrong?" - Came harsh words from the first-mate's mouth and she considered lifting her head to read his face, but the tone of his voice alone made her clearly imagine it and she decided against it, only rubbing harder on her temples as a failed attempt to keep the pulsing ache at bay.

Zoro became irritated by silence and not being a very considerate or patient man in such occasions, pulled her chair roughly to himself in one swift motion, scrapping the floor in the process and making Nami give a short squawk. Hands in the air and looking lost like she had just woken up from a dream. She found herself bodily bend over in the next second, her head having ended up laying comfortably on Zoro's lap in some twisted way.

Her reaching hands were swatted away by much larger ones when she tried to rub her temples while hissing to calm the violent pulsing ache in her head. But soon all thoughts, threats and sounds evaporated from her mind and she was left groaning with bliss at the most of the time harsh pair of hands but oh-so-delicate and precise ones now when they busied themselves with massaging her face.

After a few minutes of incoherent moans and blissful sighs - she would never, _ever _acknowledge making - she managed to form - "That's…that's cheating..." - The voice above her was laced with amusement, "So can I start questioning or are you going to tell me what's on your mind and be done with it?"

Straight to the point, eh? But it was really fucking cheating from swordsman's side. His hands in those oh-so-right-places, massaging her whole scalp were making her mind short-circuited and pliable to pulling secrets from her usually tight mouth. Well… if Zoro didn't give a fuck about people seeing them in such compromising position and was willing to do her such _a favor_ then she could say one thing or two. "_Nakama and all"_ – she mussed still a bit defiantly.

It took a few long pleasurable minutes of Zoro's attention until she decided to screw it all and say it straight out. - "I'm in love with Luffy."

She was expecting a pause in the hands or any kind of shift in his movement, but no such thing happened. It only unnerved her more and she opened her eyes, she didn't know she had closed before, and looked up. What she saw made her feel like quite a little silly country girl, because the swordsman was shooting her his most deadpan and incredulously aggravated look he could muster so perfectly that would make Sanji hot on many levels. Mostly from anger, so she decided to go with just that, though the impact was muffled by the half-blissful look on her face and the beginnings of blush painting her cheeks, _annoyingly_.

"I thought it was something important." - She heard him mutter and with scream of _'What did you say?' _on her lips she was on her way to sit straight only to have her head harshly and with ease placed once again on the swordsman's lap.

"Sit still, I haven't finished yet." He resumed his ministrations on the back of her head, angling it a bit uncomfortably to the front and pressing her chin to her chest, but she only grunted once and let herself relax.

"From the way it looks you know about me and shit-cook, right?" - when a snort of incredulity confirmed it, he continued - "then I must also inform you that there's no one on the ship who doesn't know you have the hots for our captain…_witch_." - He added as an afterthought just _not _toseem so friendly here. The dirty looks they were being shoot by the occupants of the other private tables were easily stopped with his famous demon-like aura.

Her frame went from relaxed to rigid in a matter of two seconds. Zoro didn't give her the chance to ask or feel the creeping doom, whatever she was thinking now. - "Luffy knows too. Hell, he was the first of us to realize. We are nakama." - He stated. - "No matter what sexuality or what kind of a monster you are or people see you as, he sees the human in us all and such boundaries don't exist in his dictionary. I thought you'd know."

The silence was heavy after his words.

For the very first time she thought about it from Zoro's point of view and realized then how much worse could a relationship between two males be seen on a ship! The captain had the right to throw them out at best and Luffy turned out to be very compassionate. He cheered for them the moment they decided to tell him straight out, though they _must_ have been insecure about it and at a loss about where they stood with each other too, but they had taken this step and survived it somehow, _goddamit_!

"I'm a coward..." - She felt her mouth move and shameful words escaped her quivering lips.

"...Dummy. He knows that too, that's why he told me he'd wait for you until you gather enough courage to tell him straight in the face, so he could finally kiss you, woman." – She could feel his hands moving over her hair in a weird attempt to soothe or pet, but accompanied with those words it made her finally spill a couple of tears. They slid leaving a damp path over her temples.

They were wiped just as quickly by calloused thumbs, erasing the trace they had ever existed and she couldn't feel any more grateful. She would deny later the fleeting kiss on one of those scarred but _so warm_ knuckles, but the gesture and thanks sank and Zoro knew everything was going to be ok.

So did she.

_**~0~**_

"Did you do it?" - Sanji asked the swordsman as soon as they got back to the Sunny Go and managed to gather safely everything they needed for the long voyage.

"Of course. I'm not some pansy ass cook who can't even comfort a girl…Ouch!" - He paused after receiving a very painf—_irritating_ kick to the shin.

"That was unnecessary, bastard." - Sanji hissed and was secretly satisfied with the strained expression on Zoro's face when the other struggled not to bend over and run his hand over the tender bruise.

"Fine, don't glare at me like I killed your family then." - Snapped at him the swordsman. - "Next time _you_ go and comfort your _Nami-san_ instead sending others. Or maybe you _are_ that much intimidated when ladies are present and can't do it, eh cook?" -He went for distraction next, meaning: riling up the cook some more.

"Wipe that smirk of your face, shit-swordsman. Or I'm gonna use the bottom of my shoes for that. I don't care about the possibility of scarring your face and making it uglier than ever before." - Sanji threatened touching his suit pockets in search of calm-sticks, or battle-sticks, depending on the mood. - "Robin-chan said a more brutish and rough approach would be needed this time, so consider it as _a favor _that I let you do this divine task."

"_Favor?_" - Zoro almost choked on that word. The stupid cook obviously didn't know what pains he went through to accomplish the task. - "Do you hear what comes out of your mouth?" - he asked incredulously. - "I'm never doing something like that again, captain's orders or not!"

"Right, right. Luffy said he is going to give you his best pieces of meat next time when we dine. _Freely._ Rare fest, so better enjoy. It's not often that he shares." - Sanji waved it off and smirked knowingly.

Zoro paused at that, contemplating that he actually felt like experiencing a calm dinner and the best pieces of meat at his back and call. Rubber-idiot behaving for once. - "…But you still _owe me,_ cook." - He let the words roll off of his tongue in a very much _not_ innocent way. - "To make it even… I would let it go if you wore that pink dress Nami wears as a night-gown or something." - He trailed off over his shoulder while walking away to resume another series of lifting weights. He stopped suddenly, turned his head and looking at the cook up and down he added: "Heh, pink _really_ suits you, ero-cook."

Sanji stood there with slacked jaw and speechless for a moment at Zoro's boldness. In the next second he pulled a match, a cigarette and jumped in the air making a deadly arc with his long legs connecting to Zoro's head while snarling. - "Die, you freaking sea-vegetable!"

Zoro chuckled to himself amused while sitting on the Sunny Go's deck. He licked the corner of his tattered bottom lip and resumed cleaning up his swords. Hair messed up, a few visible cuts and shirt ripped off in one place. He looked like he had been in a fight with wild cat, but he couldn't feel more satisfied. It was half an hour later after being beaten 'nearly' to death by an horrified ("_pretending to be"_ - his mind insisted) cook. - "I knew he'd love it." - He muttered to himself with the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips. - "Now he just needs to realize it and I'll be glad to help him with that."

In the meantime, in the galley, Sanji felt a shiver of foredoom going up his spine and gritted his teeth at the memory of a stupid green-algae and his kinky fantasies. -"_Though_…" - He paused in his musings. - "_if I do this for him, turning of course everything to my advantage, then I can put him in that nice suit of sailor's unique kind of bondage Patty with Carnie once showed me."- _He paused in his dinner preparations and tapped his chin thoughtfully. – "_Now what goes well with pink?"_

Heh, the day just seemed to have become much brighter.

_**~0~**_

Nami sit leisurely at her desk, working on the newest map of the recent Archipelago they visited. She was humming to herself and tapping her foot to the rhythm. A few minutes later she suddenly stood up and giving her map a once over, she put down her ink and stretched her hands to her back making her joints pop while doing so. She had been sitting there far too long so she decided a fresh breath of sea air above the deck didn't sound so bad.

Nothing out of place, only usual madness and crazy laughter was heard. They had probably 'borrowed' Zoro's weights once again, to his annoyance.

She strolled absent-mindedly to the chair near where Robin was reading under the sunshade and stretched herself on it, drink in her hand in less than a second thanks to Sanji's never-wavering attention.

Life was bliss.

But to make it even better - "Nee-san? Would you like to buy some pictures? Half-price." -The photos she pulled from between her breasts were spilled on one of Robin's archeological books. She didn't wait long.

The cheerful laugher from the ever-so-stoic raven-haired former assassin was like music to her ears.

She would be _sure_ to milk Zoro… or better yet Sanji ...or even both of them for that matter, she mussed mischievously to herself. All they were worth. It wasn't as much as blackmail material. Oh no, it was something totally _unbelievable, dangerous to accomplish and totally_ _crackastic_ she was sure everyone on the crew would want to see.

Yes. Because Zoro _sucking_ on something more innocent than Sanji's dick was quite the fest to the eyes.

The picture was innocent in itself, maybe more like full of evil-innocence. Zoro was sleeping peacefully while drooling, wearing a baby's cap and additionally having shoved up his mouth not one of his swords but a fucking_ sippy cup!_ It was a sight it could just as well make one laugh till being reduced to a twitching puddle of goo on the floor… or actually feel scarred sensing the moment the green-haired swordsman would wake up and see what he had been made into.

Of course, Nami was quick and very much stealthy with her fingers so it only took her a minute to put it on, do a shit-load of photos from every possible angle and even have time to still her laughter and fest her own eyes on the real thing.- "_Family right?"_ - She ginned while slurping obscenely on the drink and laughing heartily on the inside - "So what do you say, Nee-san?"

But business first.


End file.
